Snack Philosopher Gifts

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"Your less-hungry-than-thou thing is very annoying."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'The more important question then, is who is cracker?'

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"I don't really consider oatmeal raisin cookies real cookies. They're more like little granola frisbees."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Chez Nous Menu

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Jewish Geometry

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

Making healthy eating bearable.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"Guac-A-Mole"

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'