Snack Skeptic Gifts

Packaging

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

'Mum! I'm hungry.' - 'It's not long until your tea. Have a crust!' - 'I had a crust yesterday.' - 'Well, it's a crust or nothing.' - 'I bet this is what communism is like.'

'I've coughed up more attractive things than this snack.'

'Not ME... I'm watching my cholesterol!'

New Frig Reg! Warning! The Surgeon-General has determined that snacking may be hazardous to your health.

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Jewish Geometry

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

Greedy child

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'Double cheeseburger, large drink, fries, apple pie, chocolate sundae and an antacid, please.'

'Boy! Did I get some bad news today! I found out french fries is a veg'table!'

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'You can't eat me! Didn't your mum tell you you shouldn't snack between meals?'

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Cookie jars are easy. Try breaking into this tough plastic packaging!"

The creature from the CHEESE DIP LAGOON!

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Owing to the very real threat of biscuit-related injuries, the snack of choice for meetings will now be blancmange.'

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

A choice of sandwiches

Pope-Corn - the Pope cooking his own brand of popcorn