Snack Skeptic Gifts

Packaging

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

Why do you have a fear of snacks, Al? When I was a child, I got a Bosun's whistle as a prize in a box of Cracker Jack. It was so high-pitched, my god committed suicide.

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'Mum! I'm hungry.' - 'It's not long until your tea. Have a crust!' - 'I had a crust yesterday.' - 'Well, it's a crust or nothing.' - 'I bet this is what communism is like.'

'I've coughed up more attractive things than this snack.'

'Not ME... I'm watching my cholesterol!'

New Frig Reg! Warning! The Surgeon-General has determined that snacking may be hazardous to your health.

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Jewish Geometry

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

Greedy child

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'Double cheeseburger, large drink, fries, apple pie, chocolate sundae and an antacid, please.'

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

'Boy! Did I get some bad news today! I found out french fries is a veg'table!'

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"Cookie jars are easy. Try breaking into this tough plastic packaging!"

The creature from the CHEESE DIP LAGOON!

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers