Satirical Snack Lover Gifts

Overactive knife and fork

The biochemist at lunch: "I'll have another order of fries."

Vegan

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Super Heroes.

Love is when you watch television together.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The best way to prevent sagging is to keep eating until the wrinkles fall out.

Table Of The Elephants