Snack Satire Enthusiast Gifts

Chips - flavorings flavor.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Rage.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The height of fashion in 1796

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

reincarnated worm...

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

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