Snack Philosopher Pillows

"Your less-hungry-than-thou thing is very annoying."

'The more important question then, is who is cracker?'

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"I don't really consider oatmeal raisin cookies real cookies. They're more like little granola frisbees."

Chez Nous Menu

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

To do before Saturday...

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Jewish Geometry

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

Making healthy eating bearable.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

"Guac-A-Mole"

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

"Can't they compromise and sell candy apples?"

'Working from home I've found the most hazardous machine to be the refrigerator.'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."