Schoolyard Gastronome Gifts

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Recess does things to a man."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'I'm NOT trying to break in and change my grades. I'm only trying to change the school lunch menu.'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

Christmas canape?

"Don't forget... I packed your lunch for school..."

"Ever since we started home schooling, I've developed more of an appreciation for school lunches."

Careful

'Yuck Mum, this wood is way too dry!'

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

'I got lost in between all the classroom trailers at school again.'

"Welcome to the '20-'21 school year."

Pink slime hot dogs.

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

"School lunch was pretty good today."

For Your Dining Pleasure

'My Mom packed a doggie bag from her dinner out last night. I'll trade you my north atlantic lemon sole en papillote for your Twinkie.'

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'I love, love, love your mother's sense of humor.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"