Schoolyard Snacker Pillows

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Recess does things to a man."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

The Charge of the Kids

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

Shadow

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

And there goes the school window...

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

'My Mom packed a doggie bag from her dinner out last night. I'll trade you my north atlantic lemon sole en papillote for your Twinkie.'

'The exams were under water, below c!'

"Gracie, you can't leave Animal Crackers all over the place!"

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

I can't find the artisanal Pop-Tarts.

'She's a gifted child.'

I'll have today's special please.

A cow has a picnic with a rug with a hole in it, so he can eat the grass underneath.

"Check the lost and found. She said our behavior was making her loose her mind. We think she went to find it."

'Rising expenses will force me to beat an extra 15c out of you.'

'What do you mean lining up in order of height is discrimination?'

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

"Looking at these results, nobody could possibly accuse you of taking performance 'Enhancing' drugs!"

"Boeing! - in my office, now!"

"All he did was stick gum in my hair, and now I have to put up with all this innuendo."