Schoolyard Chuckler Pillows

'The exams were under water, below c!'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Recess does things to a man."

The Charge of the Kids

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"No, Bobby, I won't put you on my do not call list."

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'What does surrender mean?'

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

'He's been like this ever since he found out that he's a Rare Breed ...'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"It was a professional hit..."

Shadow

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

What teachers want to say.

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

'Cold hands, warm heart,' my ass, thought Bessie.

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

I brought two #1 pencils.

'Good morning, class. I'm Ms. Gardener, and I know how you feel. My mother made me come too.'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

'Pillow fight!'

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

"I love a man with an untrimmed crust."

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

'I love, love, love your mother's sense of humor.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'She's a gifted child.'

Bad Papers