School Life Chuckler Pillows

"No, Bobby, I won't put you on my do not call list."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Teacher's pet dog

Back to school: The Horror,

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

Rapunzel as a child.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."