School Life Chuckler Gifts

"No, Bobby, I won't put you on my do not call list."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Back to school: The Horror,

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Teacher's pet dog

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

Rapunzel as a child.

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."