Schoolyard Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Teacher's pet dog

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student