Schoolyard Satirist Pillows

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

"Looking at these results, nobody could possibly accuse you of taking performance 'Enhancing' drugs!"

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."