Schoolyard Comedian Pillows

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

Bad Papers

"Don't worry — I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Careful Dad, you're turning my teacher red.

'I love, love, love your mother's sense of humor.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"