Playful Snacker Gifts

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Super Heroes.

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Breakfast surreal.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

"I do diet...between snacks."

Cookie Thief

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

Oh, Boy, Mom. A peanut and jellyworm sandwich.'

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

Self Service, Self Denial

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Supermarket Aisles.