Saw Enthusiast Gifts

'I need just a hair cut off this.'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

You need a new reading light

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

'I didn't know there was an official seesawing outfit.'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Sawrd Fighting

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Carpenter

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Illuminating agricultural production

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

Man lighting ceiling candle

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

Chainsaw and Chair

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'Abandon Sheep.'

'Yuck Mum, this wood is way too dry!'

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'

"Of course he's old enough to cut the cake."

Deforestation