Chainsaw Enthusiast Gifts

'Want to go outside?'

"I'll bet those danged tree-huggers taught them how to do this!"

OK... make that three dirtbikes... one very large doghouse... four electric guitars...the biggest chainsaw I've ever seen... aaannnd... are you ready for this?

When Worlds Collide

'Why can't you just open gifts like everyone else?!'

Deforestation.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Deforestation

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

"Have you used one of these before. . . ?"

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

'There's no inflammation of the wood pole. . . but he does appear to suffer from hardening of the chain saw.'

'Done!'

Follow Your Dreams

Chainsaw and Chair

'I brought this in so we can cut down the insurance company's phone tree.'

'Don't make me come down there!'

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Of course he's old enough to cut the cake."

Child unwraps chainsaw Christmas present.

"I got the tree down, dear."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'