Chainsawing Gifts

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Cool, jigsaw box!"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

Squeal like a pig!

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"Try to fit in, Dear."

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Armless chainsaw juggler.

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Chainsaw and Chair

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

Ice Sculpting Class.

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"

Deforestation

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'

"Of course he's old enough to cut the cake."