Saw Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I need just a hair cut off this.'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

'I didn't know there was an official seesawing outfit.'

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Museum of Art and Science. Monet. "Claude Monet, the father of impressionism, was a master of light. He sometimes painted in series, showing the passage of time with evolving sunlight and shadows." Einstein. "Albert Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his work in the dual nature of light, behaving like both a wave and a particle, and how this duality explains the photoelectric effect." I love that! Even though Einstein and Monet both worked with light, the only thing their work has

You need a new reading light

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

Sawrd Fighting

Illuminating agricultural production

Carpenter

'We dreamed of this day and it's finally here... Behold the 'anti-Sandler ray'!'

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

Man lighting ceiling candle

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

Chainsaw and Chair

'Abandon Sheep.'

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

"Of course he's old enough to cut the cake."

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'