Satirical Wedding Fan Gifts

Bride and Groom Cake Toppers Next To Sign Reading 'Lover's Leap' - Bride Jumps.

"Shouldn't you say something about an exit strategy?"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

"Yes ... no!"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'The coalition of the willing.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

Will hide my face with this sign for food. ?

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

'Yes Sir, I am at this very minute passing on your recommendations for staff wage cuts to the appropriate department'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"Hold on a second there, Roger; Ken's raised some very good points."

Cards Galore.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'