Wedding Humor Fans Gifts

"You may now start packing on the pounds."

'Say the magic words!' 'Charge it!'

Gastropod Wedding Showers,

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'You may now kick the bride.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'I told you he had a temper.'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

Just married.

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'