Wedding Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'...and I promise to love, honor, and take this man for granted until death do we part.'

'We are gathered here to join the couple in matrimony. Possible side effects include depression, migraine, chronic fatigue...'

Second Marriage Vows.

'And do you, Peter, promise to eat only fresh, natural foods, forsaking all sugars, junk foods and additives?'

"...I do, providing he washes dishes...irons...hoovers...dusts and polishes..."

'Technically, I do.'

'Because it's a wedding program. It's not supposed to list everyone's height and weight.'

Groom flying away from his bride

'Carry mother in first.'

'And do you, Peter, promise to eat only fresh, natural foods, forsaking all sugars, junk foods and additives?'

"...and do you, Melissa, promise to wear flats, and only flats, for as long as you both shall live?"

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"Sex, good lord! But everyone told me you were only marrying me for my money!"

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

Summer Wedding 2020

"...I'll say she's pushy. This is only our first date!"

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

"Man, I'm going to regret this when I sober up."

"I should have warned you. My ex-boyfriend is very vindictive."

"You all said it wouldn't last! So, who looks stupid now?"

'This 'love, honor, and cherish' stuff is great, but could you add something about him getting a job?'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

"Sorry, I've just remembered, I'm married already."

Pigeons poo on newly-weds.

"Objection overruled."

"And from hereon, do you agree to make you own packed lunch in the morning..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Seven brides for seven guys who lost their jobs and went back to live with their parents.

"If you think I'm going to love, cherish and obey this little runt, you must be dafter than you look"

'Yeah, yeah, could we move on, please? I already read him his rights.'

'I understand each candle represents one of the groom's former marriages.'

'...Then the Minister says...'

Jilted bride.

"Watch out for Hector. He doesn't throw rice, he throws battery acid."