Wedding Humor Gifts

"I'm on the train!"

'I knew I was being generous giving it six months!'

'Father Bascombe makes the wrong assumption about the wedding at the nudist colony'

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"Let's take in a trial."

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"