Wedding Jokes Gifts

'But I've had a tiring day myself, darling!'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

Just married.

"I now pronounce you guilty."

The climatic wedding scene from "I Married the Blob"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Yes he WILL do all that - I'll see to it!'

'...and I promise to love, honor, and take this man for granted until death do we part.'

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

'Yeah, yeah, could we move on, please? I already read him his rights.'

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

'Any objections to this marriage should text me now or forever hold his tweet.'

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'