Wedding Satire Lover Gifts

'Apparently he met her when he was on his honeymoon!'

"The problem with marrying a politician is their wedding vows don't mean a thing."

". . . And will you love and honor each other until old age poverty drives you to suicide?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'You may now kick the bride.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"Yes ... no!"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

When Female Leopards Marry.

"To begin with, he ate most of the wedding cake..."

Just married.

Google Translate for Marriagese

"And do you also promise to be LinkedIn for life, facebook friends forever and to stay off Tinder till you're burnt to a cinder?"

Trouble Ahead

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"