Wedding Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm beginning to think you've got a mean streak, Stan...'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"Yes ... no!"

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

"I figured you'd end up looking like that."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I now pronounce you a joint return."

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

Just married.

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."