Satirical Foodies Gifts

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Lesser known greek gods,

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Cat eats date.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Beef Stew.

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.