Satirical Foodies Gifts

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Lesser known greek gods,

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Cat eats date.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Beef Stew.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

Bagel problems.

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'