Foodie Satire Gifts

'It's a new, high-protein substitute for soybean paste. It's made of steak.'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Beef Stew.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"How was the food sir?"

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'The house wine sir.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Just accept the ticket and let's go. The hot dog's getting cold."

"I think we need one that shows the oldest food in the country."

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

Obese kid in nursery.

Watching health food cooking shows makes me hungry. Let's go grab some fast food.

"Will you be dining a la carte or heading straight over to the trough?"

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'