Foodie Satirists Gifts

Beef Stew.

Lesser known greek gods,

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Cat eats date.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

You are what you eat (Nuts).

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'