Food Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Lesser known greek gods,

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Cat eats date.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Beef Stew.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

Waitrose Vegan Burgers

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

'Of course, the peas are fresh. I personally opened the can myself.'

'Trust me, kids. Everything tastes better at the ballpark.'

'Upsize your children' - 20 to 25 % of children are obese.

"Today the secret ingredients for Mom's Apple Pie were sold to the Japanese for sixty-eight million dollars."

Restaurant - featuring large amounts of bad food.

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

Scientific research (whaling).

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

"One or two customers have complained of vomiting and diarrhoea. But don't worry, it only seems to be a twenty-four hour thing."

"No fire ants for me. Spicy food gives me acid reflux."