Food Satire Lover Gifts

'Mmm! Pink slime meatloaf!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Better Not Squash.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Beef Stew.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'People soup again?'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

"Say hello to my little friend!"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Winter lunch.

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

'The Cod's off, but you can have whale and chips.'

'Tonight you will be enjoying Howard, a happily raised free range chicken slaughtered no ten miles from here. He is accompanied by his wife, Lily, who ironically sautes opposite your own wife.'

"It's not my fault he keeps forgetting to bring food to the potlucks."

'The hair in the soup provides fiber.'