Culinary Satire Lover Gifts

Scientific research (whaling).

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

'People soup again?'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I'm sorry about the delay, sir, but Chef's anger management class ran over."

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

'We need more cake shows!'

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"I'd rather be seared by Emeril than sauteed by Rachel."

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'