Dining Satire Lover Gifts

'Could you be a little more specific than angel food?'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

'Upsize your children' - 20 to 25 % of children are obese.

Scientific research (whaling).

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

"And what are the two wonderful gourmet delights you're serving up today...my good man?"

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'There'll be a short delay, sir -- your businessman's lunch is under investigation.'

Mousetrap: 'How was your dining experience?'

Extreme health food restaurants: "Just check off what you want and we'll bring your tray around."

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

A waiter says:'You guys know you're supposed to text me when you're ready right?' the patrons are dead . . .

"Excuse me, my bowl and glass seem to be stuck to the table."

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

"Hello, my name is Roberto, and I will be your enabler this evening."

"Sorry, sir, but none of our food is very good. It's the chef's way of punishing the rich."

'I never eat anything I can't spell.'

"I ate some yogurt once. It was very good."