Food Satire Fan Gifts

Pinocchio's Diner

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Beef Stew.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'He's cured.'

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"You're losing your everything."

Waitrose Vegan Burgers

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

'Spaghetti dinner. Hold the garlic bread.'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'