Food Satire Gifts

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

Lesser known greek gods,

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Cat eats date.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Deliboys

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Beef Stew.

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Stay at home food pyramid