Food Satire Gifts

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

Lesser known greek gods,

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

Cat eats date.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Beef Stew.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

Stay at home food pyramid