Foodie Humorists Gifts

'The Big Beg Theory'

Giant hot dogs.

"Actually, the attraction wasn't freedom from religious persecution but, rather, the all-you-can-eat buffet."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

ROOMTEMP BURGER

Giant egg.

Octopie: octopus in a pie pan.

'Oh no, it's Captain Kebab.'

'Yes. 'To Go'... please!'

"It's the new low-cost lap-banding."

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

A Club Sandwitch.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."