Foodie For Humor Gifts

"I'm supposed to be on a science-based diet - but I'm doing my own research."

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Filet minion

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Cat eats date.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Better Not Squash.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."