Humorous Foodie Gifts

'I've decided to give up Lent.'

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

The Bucket List

"Tia Carmen, this pig feet stew is delicious!"

The food is not bad, but the final plating of the soup should be improved!

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Filet minion

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Better Not Squash.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.