Humorous Foodies Gifts

"I like the concept. Like the whole thing. But take out the arches."

"Oh, I don't mind! Anything that tastes like a ten ounce, medium rare, rib-eye steak."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Filet minion

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Garlic Free Zone.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Better Not Squash.

Cat eats date.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."