Food Humorists Gifts

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

"Sorry. . . I'm 100 per cent genetically modified."

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

Cat eats date.

The Three Starches

"No fire ants for me. Spicy food gives me acid reflux."

'Trust me, kids. Everything tastes better at the ballpark.'

'I'm dieting - just the alphabet soup with no big words please!'

'OK, who's rotting?'

'Must you have chirps with everything?'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I forgot to defrost the walrus.'

I got a dish, but it only picks up the Food Channel.

Anorexic Pizza - We never deliver.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Organic food IS quite expensive... Would anyone like another pea?"

'Pass the salt, will you Lot?'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'Don't get me wrong - I like to devour Asia. It's just that I always get hungry thirty minutes later.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"States of tofu"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'The Burrito King.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."