Humor Foodie Gifts

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

'Everything's off except the weak and the sick.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Filet minion

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Better Not Squash.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Deliboys

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Sisyphus Sawyer