Foodie Humor Gifts

"Hello, my name is Roberto, and I will be your enabler this evening."

'There are no prices listed, Sir, because the prices keep going up and up.'

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

'Please weight to be seated.'

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'I got stuck in the gorging stage of anorexia.'

'She gets too hungry for dinner at eight.'

"Birthday gifts are so difficult unless you know someone's tastes..."

'Not only is this tasty and satisfying, it contains your minimum daily requirement of food additives.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'But Billy didn't want to eat his delicious alphabet soup.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'Oh she's certainly on a diet but can't decide whether to have it before or after her normal meals...!'

On the Building Site...

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

"How was the food sir?"

'I wish you wouldn't bolt down your dinner.'

I could eat a horse/I did.

'This menu is SATURATED with fat, salt, sugar and wheat!' 'Sorry... I'll clean it.'

'Sure it's a nuisance to run home for every meal, but it's either that or Chinese-restaurant syndrome.'

'Bacon's here. So's lettuce and tomato. Just waitin' on bread.'

"Nothing, thanks - I'm just looking."

"It's natural food, sir - Just eat it with your fingers."

"Jean-Claude, obviously signally to the waiter is the only exercise you do tenaciously and with abandon."

"I could of sworn there were only two, this morning!"

'Who ordered the soup with a fly in it?'

"Cruz, I'm trying to save for my car!"

"I think we need one that shows the oldest food in the country."

"Uneatable and you want to speak to the manager? No point, he's already turned it down!"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Please bring me what that guy is having."

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"I'll have the duck Poussin."