Food Humor Fan Gifts

'He's cured.'

"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."

'So this is a kitchen!'

'Mum, that man smells like trifle.'

Fair Play.

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"I describe myself as a meatetarian. It sounds healthier."

Filet minion

Devilled Kidneys...

OMG...I'm just not ready to be squeezed onto a wiener and eaten!

"Well, do you have anything that's been regurgitated?"

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'Waiter, there's a rabbit in my salad!'

Where Yogurt Comes From. . .

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

'Blossom, you're not chewing your cud.'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'Spaghetti dinner. Hold the garlic bread.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

'Didn't you order the 'everything' bagel?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Garlic Free Zone.