Foodie Jokesters Gifts

"I had to do it, Jeb. He was grilling zucchini."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Bangers and Mash

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Cat eats date.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'