Foodie Jokesters Pillows

"I had to do it, Jeb. He was grilling zucchini."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Bangers and Mash

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'