Food Jokester Pillows

"I love a plain pizza. Nothing tops it."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Bangers and Mash

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Onion operation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I'm having friends over for dominoes, so everyone needs to clear out of the kitchen."

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."