Food Jokester Pillows

"I love a plain pizza. Nothing tops it."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Bangers and Mash

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

Onion operation.

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"I'm having friends over for dominoes, so everyone needs to clear out of the kitchen."

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"