Foodie Jokers Pillows

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

"...Who ordered the ham and cheese on banana bread?"

Lesser known greek gods,

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Bangers and Mash

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Cat eats date.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'YAY! PATE!'

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"How was the food sir?"

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

"I can recommend the steak if you've got your own teeth."

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

Octopie: octopus in a pie pan.