Foodie Jokers Pillows

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

"...Who ordered the ham and cheese on banana bread?"

Lesser known greek gods,

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Bangers and Mash

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Cat eats date.

Pope tarts.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'YAY! PATE!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'The Big Beg Theory'

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

Waiter, why are there TWO flies in my soup? The second fly is the first fly's attorney.

"How was the food sir?"

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

"I can recommend the steak if you've got your own teeth."

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'