Junk Food Jokers Pillows

Vocal Fry

I knew those onion rings would be the end of me.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

Homo Gamus

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Menu Dating

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Nutrition-Free Diet

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Fast Food Dieter

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

Junk Food

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'