Junk Food Joker Pillows

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"I stopped eating fast food, too."

Inedible foods: Concrete cookies.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Homo Gamus

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Menu Dating

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Fast Food Menu Selections

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Pope tarts.

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Sweet surprise.

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Nutrition-Free Diet

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"