Junk Food Jokers Mugs

Vocal Fry

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"We won!"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

Homo Gamus

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Menu Dating

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Fast Food Menu Selections

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Fast Food Dieter

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Junk Food

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"