Foodie Joke Lover Pillows

"No sir. I'm afraid we don't have a 'late bird' menu."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Filet minion

Bangers and Mash

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Lockdown casserole

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

Murderous Chef

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'He's cured.'

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"How was the food sir?"